Engaging in conversations, whether casually or professionally, requires the exchange of information. In some cases, we might share personal details to connect and find commonalities. In doing so, we begin to create valuable relationships. However, for some neurodivergent individuals, oversharing might be a challenge to navigate.
How Much is too Much?
While it’s natural to want to share details about our lives, it’s important to recognize what you’re sharing, and how specific you need to be. Oversharing occurs when more personal information is shared than needed (or appropriate) for a particular relationship or situation.
Connect with others by finding the balance between sharing what’s necessary versus divulging too much. Oversharing can often make us feel regretful or uncomfortable and can make others feel awkward as well depending on the situation or context.
Oversharing is a common behavioral trait in individuals with ADHD, and can be the result of impulse or difficulties in social awareness. Additionally, it might be due to:
- Feeling the need to fast-track emotional connections and manage intense emotions.
- Difficulty gauging the pace and depth of sharing due to the need for constant stimulation and symptoms such as impulsivity.
While navigating this balance can require some time and effort, there are some practical techniques you can try to help avoid oversharing.
Recognize the Situation
It’s important to acknowledge the context of the conversation and match the pace of others. While it might be tempting to share a funny story or anecdote, practice taking a moment to pause and consider whether it relates to the exchange and the value it brings. This will help ensure you don’t regret or replay the conversation later and helps everyone involved feel comfortable.
Be an Active Listener
Active listening is a skill that can make a huge difference in how balanced your conversations are. Instead of waiting for your turn to talk, focus fully on what the other person is saying. This allows you to respond thoughtfully and reduces the chances of sharing too much.
Asking open-ended questions will help keep the focus on the other person and allow you the opportunity to get to know them better and more genuinely. Listening also shows the other person that you value what they have to say, which helps establish trust and respect.
Learn to Embrace Silence
This can be extremely challenging! Silence can make us feel uncomfortable and awkward. However, silence doesn’t always need to be filled; especially with information that’s neither relevant nor conducive to what is being said. Therefore, learn to sit in the silence and use it as an opportunity to consider what you’d like to say next, or a thoughtful question to ask. Share at your own pace, and don’t feel the need to fill every moment of silence with personal details.
Neurodiversity Coaching
If oversharing continues to be a challenge, you might find neurodiversity coaching beneficial. At Candor Diversity Group, we specialize in supporting neurodiverse individuals and their networks. Our coaches combine ICF certification with lived Neurodiverse experience to offer personalized coaching. Our goal is to empower you with practical strategies and understanding. If you have questions, or would like to learn more, contact please contact us!
Relationships will naturally flourish, and it will become easier to gauge how much you wish to or feel comfortable sharing. Being raw and authentic is fundamental to building connections but remember to keep in mind its time and place.
