We have all heard the phrase, “you are your own worst critic.” It is likely even something you have said to yourself, or had someone say to you. It’s hard to decipher exactly why we are so hard on ourselves; but one way to help is by working on our inner dialogue, commonly known as negative self-talk. So, today, let’s explore some practical ways to help turn your inner critic into your biggest cheerleader.
What is Negative Self Talk?
Verywell Mind describes this term as, “your inner voice making critical, negative, or punishing comments. These are the pessimistic, mean-spirited, or unfairly critical thoughts that go through your head when you are making judgements about yourself.” While it is important to understand your pitfalls and areas for improvement, too much negative emotion can be detrimental to your overall well-being and mental health.
Practical Ways to Help
Practice self-awareness
One of the best ways to curb negative self-talk is by paying attention to triggers, such as situations, environments or certain people who stir up negative thoughts. Understanding these can help you prepare and respond appropriately.
Keeping a journal to note instances of negative self-talk is also helpful in noticing patterns and common themes. It is also beneficial to write down how you felt in these moments so you can better manage your thoughts and emotions.
Challenge your thoughts
When you notice you are caught in negative thinking, ask yourself these types of questions:
- “Is this thought true?”
- “What makes it true or false?”
- “Would I speak this way to a friend or family member?”
By focusing on what is real, or not, can help mitigate these types of thoughts. It also helps you to consider other perspectives and may offer a more balanced view of the situation and insights about how you are feeling.
Reframe your thinking
When we are caught up in negative self-talk, it is easy to feel helpless and stuck. So, rather than focusing on “I can’t do this!”, try “How can I learn how to do this?” Or “Who could help me do this?” By reframing your thoughts, you begin to welcome possibilities and opportunities rather than dismissing them.
It is also helpful to have your own personal mantras to draw on when those negative thoughts begin to weigh you down. Create a list to refer to in these situations, which will also help reframe your thinking.
Be kind to yourself
We all make mistakes! So,when you make a one, remind yourself that imperfection is part of being human. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend, colleague, or family member who is in a similar situation.
It’s also important to acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Recognizing that it’s okay to feel down sometimes, can help alleviate some pressure.
Do things you enjoy
Participate in activities that bring you joy or a sense of accomplishment. This could be anything from painting to hiking or volunteering. Regular exercise is known to boost mood and reduce stress, so find an activity you enjoy, whether it’s yoga, dancing, or walking.
Seek support
A great way to help work through negative thoughts is to share with someone else. Talk with a trusted friend or family member. Sometimes, just verbalizing negative thoughts can be beneficial. Others can also offer a fresh perspective and help you see things more clearly.
If negative self-talk is significantly impacting your life, consider speaking with a professional, who can provide you with resources and tools suited to your needs.
Remember that change takes time, so be patient, and kind, with yourself throughout this journey!
